Why Affirmation is so Important

“Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works…”

Hebrews 10:24

When I was a kid, I remember thinking I never wanted to be exactly like my parents; I wanted to be my own person. Now that I am older, I recognize all the ways I did, in fact, become a lot like my parents, especially my mother. Particularly when it comes to losing my keys. Growing up, my mother was always losing her keys. I even recall a time when we were late for school and frantically searching for the car keys, and I ended up finding them in the refrigerator! This is why I laughed a little at Crabtree’s opening illustration of a key. He describes how this small tool is both simple and complex. Affirmation is simple in concept, but difficult in its application because relationships are complex, messy, and are affected by many factors.

Principles of Good Affirmations

The one that impacted me the most was God-centered affirmations. I’d like to say I often give compliments out, most often to my girl friends, or to the youth girls at church. However, the bulk of my compliments are shallow in nature, remarking on their cute new outfit and fresh set of nails. Since reading this chapter, I have been painfully aware of the depth of my compliments, and have been working towards more meaningful compliments. I don't deny that there is a place and time to compliment clothing and hair, but now I see how those things are not nearly as valuable as the compliments of the character and heart of a person. I truly do want my compliments, particularly towards our youth girls, to point them to Christ. I love how Crabtree wrote, “by valuing a character quality, we attribute honor to its source [God]”. Compliments should both refresh the person and remind them of the creator who has graciously given them much.  

Outcomes of God-Centered Affirmations

So if we focus our compliments in ways that center on how God is present in the lives of others, then we will both be refreshing the relationships of those close to us while bringing honor to God. In fact, this is one of the ways that we can “see” God.

“No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.” (I John 4:12) 

One of the ways that we can experience God in a meaningful way is when we see His character in another, point those out, and then honor God in light of them. What a great way to build up the body of Christ! Affirmation is like a key, simple yet complex. Even though we may lose our keys often, just remember the well of affirmations is deep since it is rooted in God Himself. 

Now I just have to remember where I put my keys…